Whether you honor your personal values or not can mean the difference between a happy life or one filled with grief. This is why it is so important to not only know your top values, but to know which ones take highest priority.

For example, some of my highest values are Family, Health, Entrepreneurship, Love and Spirituality.

I owned a business at one time and it was very successful. But something started to creep up and bother me with time. As I became more busy, I noticed that owning the business took a toll on my family life. I felt sad because I had no quality time to just hang out with my family.

It wasn’t until I started meditating that I discovered the gift in taking a personal time-out to hear what my spirit needed. I realized I was living a tug-of-war between my family and my business. And sure, sometimes people can try to make us feel guilty about not seeing them, but in my case, it wasn’t that my family was making me feel guilty. I just really, really missed seeing them. Sometimes you have to dig deep and find the origin of what’s bothering you, no matter how scary that discovery process may be.

And so there I was, trying to decide what to do next.

And of course sometimes we go to the surfacey answers like, “Okay, well, I’ll just give up this one (Business) to have this one (Family).” But a reading with one of my teachers opened me up to the idea that I can have many things in my life all operating at the same time. Isn’t this what love is really about anyway… Inclusion?

And this concept forced me to look at things differently, more creatively. I started asking questions like… “How could I have a family and business both? And which one matters more? And so what does this mean for the other one?” Etc. Etc.

And you can see how being open to honoring your values, but then being open to being curious about them can really help you travel further on your path with more happiness.

The Problem with Not Knowing Your Values

Most people who come to me for a reading have neglected their core values or don’t even know what their highest values are. They start to feel like something is wrong or missing in their life and they can’t pinpoint what the problem is.

After a little probing, I’ll find that they are either unclear about their values or living out of alignment with them. This can sometimes happen because they are either suppressing their values or compromising them. Many people start to live a whole other life (which I often reveal as being off path) for the sake of keeping the peace with their family members, friends, coworkers, boss or even religious and political organizations.

Being out of alignment with core values causes a great deal of suffering. There is such a huge price to pay when you don’t have clarity about what’s most important to you. The misalignment can cause feelings of anxiety, stress, and regret. It can make you feel torn and conflicted. You may feel drained, tired, confused and like you are going in circles. This often leads to discomfort and dissatisfaction in careers, relationships and even with the self.

I encourage you to take some time to write down about five of your top values and then meditate or journal about them. Here are some tips to get you thinking more about how your values may have an impact in your life.

Tips to Discover Your Top Values

• What do you find yourself defending or arguing for when you talk to friends and family? This often reveals a top value for you.
• What is something that you must have in your day? Everyday? For example, do you need to be able to go to the gym each day? Perhaps this reveals that health or fitness is a high value.
• Ask yourself the simple question, “What is most important in my life?” List off the top things that come to mind, no judging.
• Dig deeper and ask, “What do these values mean to me?” For example, if you listed ‘money’ as a value, ask what money means to you. Perhaps it symbolizes freedom or stability. List those as top values as well.

Once you have a long list of top values, try to prioritize them. The best way to do this is to first eliminate the ones you could live without. Then circle the ones that feel most important. And finally, list your top five in order, and figure out which one is the very top value.

Create a few statements surrounding each of these values. Use statements such as, “I know I have success in (value) if (fill in the blank).” An example would be, “I know I have success in (health) if (I am jogging everyday).” Or “I know I have success in (family) if (we have quality time each day together).” Create a few statements for each value. This will help give you some ideas about what is needed for each of these core values.

The more you align with these statements and implement them into your life, the more happy and fulfilled you will feel. This is a great exercise to do at the end of the year with family and friends. It can help you see what is most important in your life and theirs and then you can find ways to support one another in achieving success in these areas.

Please feel free to share your values below and also share this article with friends and family to help them gain more clarity for their path!

Many blessings for a happy new year!

Mandy G.