If you have been experiencing heavy emotions because of a breakup in a relationship or a loss, there is a simple practice you can try called “letting go.” The practice of letting go helps us to have more acceptance for the way things are, and I believe it’s a key to creating long lasting happiness. This article will provide you with examples of what letting go is and is not. There is also a free letting go meditation at the end.
Letting Go
It can sometimes be difficult to “let go” of something that is deeply emotionally charged or something that directly relates to how you identify yourself.
When we are experiencing a deep emotional attachment to a person or event in our life and we’re being asked to let it go, it can often feel like we’re being asked to move on and forget about the past, person, or event that we’re deeply connected to.
As a medium, I’m often approached by parents who have lost their children. They struggle with moving on in life and experience a deep grief like none other. When a child passes away unexpectedly, even the most well trained meditators may have a difficult time with accepting the loss.
There are many emotions to work through, one of the hardest being the expectation of the child outliving the parent. It causes great suffering and sadness to the parent who wanted to watch their child live a happy, long life.
When I connect with the child on the other side and allow messages to be conveyed, often times, the child will share the concept of “you must let go of your expectations for how we are meant to be together.” They explain that there is a higher reason for their departure, one that includes helping both the parent and child understand a greater type of love and connection… One that can only be experienced (not explained). And it is during this link up of energies, during the session, that the parent can feel the child’s energy once again, recognize their signature, realize that there is some sort of “real” connection happening even though they are not physically present to touch one another. It is in these moments, that I get to witness what it means for this parent and child to really “let go.” They have released their expectations of meeting up in the physical sense to have that physical sense satisfied, for something much greater, a connection beyond words. It is, true surrender.
Letting Go of Someone You Love
Another example of this deep type of surrender happens during divorce. I experienced it first hand and many people come to me with the decision weighing heavy upon their souls about whether they should end their marriage. It’s extremely difficult for people to face this decision because it means, once again, their expectations and dreams of having a long, happy marriage (with the perfect house, kids, pets, growing old together, etc.) becomes shattered.
It is in these moments of breakdown, that there is often the biggest breakthrough.
During these difficult times of breakdown, many people experience physical symptoms of spinning, passing out, deep grief and depression. The physical body, linked to the energetic body, is wanting to stop, become still, get quiet. And these are often the hardest moments for people. They feel deep suffering and want out. They start asking, “why” and find themselves spinning into either past memories or a future that will never be.
And yet, the “bodies” (physical, emotional, energetic) are so wise. They beg of you to stop, to slow down, to get still.
So that you can become quiet. And that quiet is key. It is what is needed to connect. To hear “them.” To hear your spirit, your answers about how do I LIVE NOW.
In these quiet moments, we are able to detach from the past and the future and we are able to fully “let go.”
And even then, just when you think you’ve learned what “letting go” really is, there is more to learn about letting go. With the death of a loved one, there are so many layers that it can take years to fully realize what it means to really let go. And again, I’m not saying “let go” as in move on and forget about them. Every experience, person, event, has a significant impact in our lives. What’s key, is learning how to be connected with them in the NOW, given the current circumstances. So for a child who has died, you will learn that you don’t have to choose between grief and happiness. Life will naturally present moments to you where you will miss them or feel them, but you will also feel happiness. As you move through the layers, you start to unwind beliefs that you are supposed to feel only sadness or only happiness. You can, in fact, feel both at the same time.
It is when we break down these beliefs and expectations that things must be a certain way, that we provide a sense of freeing up, of relief.
For example, for people who are struggling with finding a new mate, they often come to me saying, “If I find my soulmate, I will be happy.” They are creating the expectation that happiness is defined by a certain set of terms. And yes, while events such as becoming married may change qualities about your life, it is not these achievements which bring about long lasting happiness. I have met a lot of unhappy married people…
When you are able to find a way to let go of these rules and expectations for your life and instead, bring your focus back to the present and have gratitude for what is already showing up as wonderful and amazing in your world, then you will start to discover the long lasting happiness you seek.
What Letting Go Is Not
Letting go of an ideal, thought, or experience is not something that will just happen of it’s own accord.
Letting go takes work on our part. It requires us to get quiet, activate our awareness and do some introspection about what we are attaching to, what we are believing and what is actually true. Letting go is also not the same as as moving on without doing the work of true grieving (which includes the demolishing of the expectations and beliefs of how things should be). Letting go is also not forgetting about a person, life-changing event or important experience.
One of the most important things to know about letting go is that it’s not the same as forgiving someone who has wronged you. You can forgive a person without excusing the act. Forgiveness is a decision to let go of any thoughts of revenge or resentment towards someone.
Letting Go Is a Work in Progress
You can begin the practice of letting go by working with meditation and noticing how you might be requiring people and things to create happiness in your life. For example, how do you react when your friend cancels a date with you? Or how do you feel when your morning doesn’t go as planned? This is a simple way to develop your awareness about attachments to having things be a certain way. With time, you will start to see that clinging to having things your way creates a lot of let downs for you. And then, you can open up to understanding that life is best lived when you are finding pleasure in the current moments. The greatness that lies ahead is not meant to be known yet. It is better experienced as a surprise…
Please enjoy this Letting Go and Break Through Meditation. Share or comment about your experiences with letting go below. Press play to start the meditation.
Much love and light as you let go,
Mandy Gatlin
